I really want fufuchan to see it!
For this reason, I specially spend money to hire someone to help me translate!
(资料图)
The sun in Xishan is mostly blocked by a corner of the city, and the sunlight slants into the room through the window, cutting it into pieces. The edges of black shadows are blurry and have no clear boundaries. Black is transparent again, not pure black.
Uki couldn't help but think of sunset lights, the bright colors like filters, life as brilliant and vibrant.
He felt pain like a flame burning his throat, despite being an intact person.
Each window in the residential building has a different color, just like everyone's different lives.
But the further down, the color reflected by the window becomes dimmer.
Even if it is shining, some people are destined to lose their dazzling qualifications, for no reason.
He stood in front of the french window, standing high above the sky, all kinds of illusions appeared in a trance.
Uki can see the rapid rise of the surrounding scenery, everything is blurry, but it seems that everything has become extremely slow, to the point where human dynamic vision, which is not outstanding, can clearly see the leaves blown up high by the wind.
I'm falling, uki thought.
In the midst of a dazzling scene, he struggled to pull himself out, but was also entangled in chaotic thoughts, and finally drowned out by the noise.
He became a stranger from a third perspective, indifferent to his crazy art of falling from high above, constantly falling, falling, and finally "crashing" to pieces, along with his soul, shattering to pieces.
Are you okay? "A magnetic voice pulled uki out of his own world.
He probably answered this phone call unconsciously, although uki didn't want to answer it, it turned out that his body often acted before his brain at certain times.
I'm not very good... well, I mean, I'm okay. "He was thinking about how to answer in the next second," I'm fine... today's sunset is beautiful
UKI heard a light smile coming from the phone and said, "Can you describe the world in your eyes
This should not be difficult for anyone, because everyone sees the world differently, but uki still thought for a long time, until the sunset sets and the last bit of light is swallowed up by the edge of the city.
The person across the phone did not hang up due to the long wait, but silently listened to the sound of uki's breathing.
"The sunset... is as beautiful as the flame, fufuchan, just like you." uki still stood in front of the french window, and the city began the night activities, "but beauty has a time limit, so do you."
I will always be there, "Fulgur promised him.
Uki doesn't remember when he hung up the phone, just like he often can't remember the time, place, or even what the other person said when fulgur called.
He is inevitably forgetting everything about Fulgur.
Uki remembers having a historically long birthday with fulgur.
24 hours?
No, it's far more than that.
Uki can recall that fulgur was pulling his hand.
They run around airports around the world, kiss each other in the sunlight, and embrace each other amidst the roar of airplanes.
Fulgur takes him, chasing the sun, and letting time stay for uki on a certain day.
Fulgur said that on a birthday, there will never be a sunset.
They didn't stay too much and spent more time on the plane.
Look at the clouds, the sun, the ant like scenery, and the people around you from the porthole of the plane.
All of this is like a veil in uki's memory.
I remember, but when I look back on the past, I always feel like that person doesn't belong to me. Memories belong to me, and people don't belong to me.
Fulgur's laughter was louder in his memory than the roar of an airplane.
But... I don't seem to remember his appearance very well, "thought uki.
He looked at the clouds outside the plane window, as if missing a stranger who had passed by.
Uki hesitated for a few days to make this decision.
He decided to travel with Fulgur.
Go hiking in the mountains, watching the desert, admiring the grasslands... anywhere you go.
Free and unrestrained.
It seemed like he had a deep connection in his heart. Just as he was about to call Fulgur, his phone rang.
Uki asked him, "Would you like to travel with me
Fulgur agreed that he would.
The first stop is the grassland.
A green ocean set off the bluer the sky and the whiter the clouds. It was as if only the two of them were left under the sky.
The strong wind was blowing head-on, disrupting the hair and even making people unable to open their eyes. The wind filled their sleeves and the hem of their clothes rustled in the wind.
Uki wore a beige dress, which was Fulgur's request, but it was also the outfit he had always wanted to muster the courage to try.
Fulgur said to him, it's okay, there will only be me and you there, I like any way you look.
Only uki and fulgur.
Uki felt as if he was about to melt into the emerald color, squeezed by the blue sky, and willingly pressed into a thin piece of grass, sticking to the ground without going anywhere.
The green is so bright that it is dazzling, so green that it flows with oil, and the grass leaves are also very piercing.
He felt very happy, unprecedented joy.
Everything here is beautiful, not as beautiful as the real scene.
Of course, this may also be because he has never seen the grassland before.
The wind on the grassland is like liquor.
I'm wearing a skirt, a beige dress.
They said that boys can't wear skirts, but here's only me and fufuchan.
I am free.
——The 108th Letter to the Forever Sunset
Later, Fulgur proposed going to the desert.
The yellow sand danced all over the sky, making people unable to open their eyes. Opening one's mouth is filled with sand and soil, unable to say a word.
In such a situation, uki is extremely grateful for his perfect understanding with fulgur. With just a simple glance, he can understand what the other person is thinking.
They are soul mates, markers engraved in each other's lives.
In the Gobi Desert, there is only a dry water source, there is no water here, and everything is depleted. In the desolate land where bones are buried, there is only wind and sand as companions.
If I die here, will my body be eaten up by desert creatures? "Uki asked Fulgur," and then there is a bare skeleton that is slowly buried in the sandstorm
No, I will eat every inch of your flesh and blood first. "It may also be due to a memory mistake or blurry memory. In the eyes of Uki, Fulgur clearly did not speak, but the other person's voice appeared clearly in his ear.
I won't let other creatures stain you, you belong to me, uki
Uki chuckled slightly, and could only judge by his half face, which was not covered by the mask - his eyes of different colors - that he was very happy at the moment.
He said, "There is a word in China called 'beauty and bones', and I can't be' beauty '. I just want to have a bone left and always be with you, fufuchan
Fulgur said that being able to sleep in the deserted desert is also a very romantic thing.
Thousands of years later, traces of existence still exist.
I want to go to the desert with you, my chest filled with yellow sand, to make a dead bone
——The 108th Letter to the Forever Sunset
At a coffee shop in the UK, uki and fulgur spent a leisurely afternoon.
Fufuchan seems to have changed a bit, uki thought. I remember he used to really enjoy drinking coffee.
The shop assistant smiled and asked uki what he needed, and uki said, "Please give me
He wanted to say, "Please give me two cups of coffee," but saw Fulgur gently shake his head at him, so he changed his mouth and said, "One cup of coffee, thank you
Uki wanted to ask Fulgur why he had changed, but Fulgur just smiled at him, holding his hands and lying on the table, smiling at him in the sunlight.
Seeing such a fulgur, uki's tight string loosened again and suddenly didn't want to ask.
Forget it, just change it, my love for him won't stop because of change, "thought uki.
In the warm sunshine, Fulgur kept looking at uki with such gentle eyes. He didn't say a word, but uki could read a strong sense of love from the other person's eyes.
Later, uki went to the restroom and at the sink, he received a call from fulgur.
Fulgur said to him on the phone, "uki, you're beautiful today. I've been staring at you for a long time... I'm really fascinated by you
Uki gripped his phone with his shoulder, washing his hands and smiling as he spoke to the other end of the phone, "Is there anything you can't say to me in person? Fufuchan, can I understand why you're shy
Fulgur stopped speaking, and uki laughed so hard that he could hardly grip his phone.
He took his phone to the table and saw Fulgur still sitting there. Seeing him come over, continue to look at him with that gentle gaze and a smile.
On the phone screen, there is only a cold black screen displayed.
——The phone has hung up.
The ripples of the Thames River shimmered in the sunlight, and I felt happy, so I threw myself into it.
The river flooded my lungs, and I saw Fufuchan standing on the bank smiling at me, watching me being picked up by people around me from the river.
He was probably mocking me, mocking my impulsiveness.
——The 108th Letter to the Forever Sunset
The duration of this trip is really too long, to the point where I can't even remember how many places I have been with Fulgur, how many people I have met, and how many things I have experienced.
Uki found that his memory seemed to be getting worse and worse.
He began to lose track of the way he made friends during his travels, the flavors of local specialties, and even the colors of the tall mountains began to fade in his memory, eventually turning into a lifeless gray.
So he began to write some diaries, sometimes fragmented and chaotic fragments, sometimes specific events.
But no matter what, the entire diary was filled with the names of Fulgur.
Uki remembers watching the sunset at the airport with fulgur once. It was his birthday and fulgur took him to the last stop chasing the sun.
He thought for a long time, and finally slowly wrote a line on the front page of his diary - "The 108th Letter to the Forever Sunset"
One hundred and eight days is the duration of the trip planned by uki.
After each piece is written, uki will tear it off, put it in an envelope, and send it to the previous destination.
Because fulgur will receive them.
Unexplained, inexplicably known.
Uki remembers going to a place with Fulgur and meeting John - a bird hunter there.
When John first met, he was shooting birds, and his marksmanship was very accurate. He used a homemade gun, and when the bullets were fired, he could still hear the sound of passing in the wind.
Later, a bird landed on ukiki's shoulder, flew away from him, and was hit by John's gun. Coincidentally, uki reached out and fell straight into uki's hand.
He's still alive, "Fulgur said, then turned his head and shouted to John, who was standing at the front of the wooden house with a gun," Hey, brother, let him make a living
Fulgur smiled and walked towards him, then took out a cigarette from his pocket and handed it to the other person. "It fell into my lover's hand, indicating that it doesn't deserve to die today
John put down his gun, glanced at the strange haired man, and then glanced down at the cigarette in his hand. There was an almost imperceptible "hum" sound coming out of my nose, and I naturally took the cigarette handed over by Fulgur, took out a lighter from my pocket, and skillfully lit it for myself.
Come and play
Yes, take your lover on a trip
You young people know how to play, "John leaned against the wall and took a sip of his cigarette." But there's not much fun in this place. If you want to take your lover to play, you can go to other towns
After all, we have nothing more than worthless birds here, "he chuckled with some self deprecation.
Fulgur explained, "We're here to see the birds
What's good about birds? "John disdained," don't they all look the same
Because he liked it, he came, "Fulgur smiled softly as he looked at uki, who was surrounded by a flock of birds.
Dog lovers
John is muttering and complaining in a low voice.
Wishing all the lovers in the world that it would be difficult for them to become family members, he thought angrily in his heart and forcefully stepped on the cigarette end under his feet.
Uki had a dream in which he and fulgur buried the bird of the past together.
He remembered the bird gradually losing its temperature in his own hands and eventually becoming stiff.
I dug a pit with my bare hands and let the bird sleep here.
He still remembers John in his dream saying to him:
Perhaps birds want freedom more
His dreams began to become chaotic, the visuals began to twist, like an overturned paint plate, and the colors began to merge.
Finally, uki woke up.
After he woke up, Miss Liz immediately knocked on the door, reminding him to take his medicine.
Why don't I remember needing to take medication? Uki's head was a bit drowsy, he thought in a daze as he took the medicine.
There seems to be something in the brain that catches a flash of inspiration, but its speed is really too fast to catch.
Miss Liz, could you please help me book a flight ticket? "Uki said of the place back then.
Is it still alive? Uki's memory is so bad that he feels a bit confused.
Have I ever buried it? Uki couldn't help but think.
When I got on the plane, the passengers around me were still discussing social news:
A few months ago, the plane crashed
It seems like a plane crash in the end, did it fall into the sea
Unfortunately... no one survived
He suddenly felt a strong palpitations, which made him unable to breathe.
His heart began to throb violently, as if something was about to burst through his chest.
It's like being shot through by a quilt.
Like those little guys killed by John.
When the plane was about to land, a huge sense of fear arose inexplicably and grew stronger.
Uki doesn't know what he's actually afraid of.
But he had no choice but to continue moving forward.
The closer he got to there, the more uki found himself retreating.
He dug up that piece of land with his hand, but inside it was nothing but soil.
Nothing there?
Uki's hands were covered in mud, even between his nails, but he thought happily and thankfully:
——It's a dream.
“uki？”
Upon hearing the familiar voice, uki turned around and realized that it was John holding a cigarette.
Long time no see, "he smiled lightly.
”Long time no see John is moving a birdcage, "No more work
He released one hand and compared his thumb to his index finger.
Then he smiled bitterly and looked helplessly at the flock of birds flying around in front of his wooden house. "The government can't protect endangered species anymore, I have to sacrifice them as ancestors," he said
Seeing uki's hands covered in mud again, he couldn't help but sigh and say, "You're still persistent
But even if you want to extract it, it's unlikely that the body will be easily digested by nature
Didn't I save him? "Ui looked as if he was about to collapse." That was just a dream I had, I remember, I caught it
But that was just a dream, "John said calmly. Actually, my bullet pierced his heart and he fell from mid air... Have you forgotten, uki?”
“...I”
“You haven't forgotten, have you? "John continued to look at uki with an extremely sad look." You've been here many times.
Fulgur crashed in the air two months ago today.
You remember, but you still miss him.
I... "uki wanted to say, we spent 108 days, went to many places, and said they had seen many things.
But he could never recall the details.
Uki... "John sighed deeply and then turned around to hang the bird cage.
A bird of unknown species landed on his shoulder and then stopped moving.
Looking at this warm scene, no one can imagine that John was once a hunter.
Uki stood in place, staring blankly at this scene.
John reached out his hand and let the bird stand on his own, then flew out.
Uki heard John saying:
Let it fly, it yearns for freedom
After his gaze blurred, he realized that he had already shed tears.
I am crying, am I sad? Uki thought.
He tightly covered his mouth, feeling suffocated and unable to breathe. Tears shattered on the ground, like a crashed plane.
The sadness of being late has finally returned.
In 108 days, I had countless dreams.
The concept of time has long been blurred, and I can't distinguish between true and false, and my memory has also started to go wrong.
Broken.
confused.
Twisted.
I have seen the most beautiful scenery during my travels, heard the most touching words in the world, and everything is true... it's also fake.
I remember it.
On the 108th day, the trip ended.
Goodbye.
——The 108th Letter to the Forever Sunset
Christmas, it's snowing.
Uki sat quietly on the wooden bench next to the square, watching the snow fall on his sweater.
The snowflakes did not melt, but accumulated more and more, and the piece gradually turned white.
The flower girl carrying a basket of roses saw him alone and walked straight towards uki.
Beautiful brother, "she smiled as soon as she spoke," buy a flower.
Uki didn't move, just looked at her and smiled.
Seeing the little girl's hands constantly rubbing the corners of her clothes, he spoke up and said, "How did you know I wanted to buy your flowers
Because you are beautiful, "the little girl said reasonably." A beautiful person cannot be without a partner
Buy a flower, "she handed uki the basket to look at." I'll let you choose the best looking one
Uki smiled lightly and shook his head, holding the handle of the only blue rose in his hand amidst a red hue, saying, "Just it
Miracles and the impossible
Out of curiosity, the little girl asked him, "Beautiful brother, why hasn't your lover come so late?" She pointed to a couple on the square, "Just like them
We're different... "uki smiled softly." My lover ran a race with me, but he cheated on a plane and ran ahead of me. I can't catch up with him now
The little girl didn't know if she understood or not. She nodded in confusion and comforted him, "It's okay, you can meet at the finish line
Upon hearing her words, uki's eyes were filled with incomprehensible sadness, like snow.
He returned the basket to the little girl and pointed to the couple she had pointed to earlier, saying, "Go ahead... remember to give them red ones, I think they should be in great need
Seeing her walking with cheerful steps, uki continued to recover to that state of quiet wandering.
It was a long time before he made a phone call:
Um... fulgur is my lover. The plane he took a few months ago crashed
"... The marriage certificate has been completed... The wedding is still going on..."
“...I understand.”
“...He's already... dead.”
The wind on the grassland is like liquor.
I'm wearing a skirt, a beige dress.
They said that boys can't wear skirts, but here's only me and fufuchan.
I am free.
I want to go to the desert with you, my chest filled with yellow sand, to make a dead bone
I want to say that to him.
Fufuchan said that being able to sleep in the deserted desert is also a very romantic thing.
Thousands of years later, traces of existence still exist.
It's really enviable.
Will not disappear without a trace.
The ripples of the Thames River shimmered in the sunlight, and I felt happy, so I threw myself into it.
The river flooded my lungs, and I saw Fufuchan standing on the bank smiling at me, watching me being picked up by people around me from the river.
He was probably mocking me, mocking my impulsiveness.
The bungee jump between green waters and green mountains embraced the greenery, and Fufuchan and I kissed in mid air.
I kept falling, but he hugged me.
I am no longer afraid.
I went to the Great Rift Valley with Fufuchan and slept underground.
We sneaked into the Mariana Trench, feeling and embracing in the pitch black.
I vaguely remember seeing a whale fall.
We were swallowed up by it and isolated like Pinocchio in the story.
Only me and fufuchan.
I feel suffocated
Nature is stingy and unwilling to give me some air to breathe.
I'm still alive, so.
It's Fufuchan supplying me with oxygen.
In the old-growth forest, I felt my body was empty.
I don't have to think about anything here, I don't have to worry about anything, even if it turns into a fertile land here, I am willing.
Fufuchan and I are intertwined here.
Like a dodder flower, I cling tightly to him.
The fish drowned in the water.
I am the fish.
I'm running.
The shadows on the ground are chasing me.
Grab my hand and run with me.
He has no shadow.
He is safe.
I was in the darkness, surrounded by thick pitch black.
This is boundless darkness.
The airtight black.
I don't know how long I've been walking or if I've changed directions.
When I suddenly turned back in an instant, I realized——
Fufuchan has been there all along, there is a small piece of light behind me.
He never left.
Suddenly I turn my back, she gleams in sparse and obscure lights.
——Wait for me.
I always feel that fufuchan has changed.
Change it, my love for him will not stop because of change.
I can see the sea.
The waves carry some dark impurities, washing them towards the shore and taking away some things from the shore.
I tried to take some of them away, but failed.
Reach forward, but the waves are receding.
Trying several times was in vain.
Perhaps... the sea cannot bear to part.
Fufuchan is waiting for me on the coast.
I saw him fold a boat for me and put it into the water, and the boat was taken away by the seawater.
Slowly, slowly moving away.
I started chasing it, but no matter what, I couldn't catch up
Fufuchan waved at me as the sea gradually filled my chest.
I know, I can't continue moving forward.
Let's climb the snowy mountain.
The earth made a loud noise, and then the snowcapped mountain collapsed.
The white snow buried me.
I turned around and looked——
There is no fufuchan.
Fufuchan previously set the automatic reply to 'um'.
He said, even when he's not around, he wants me to know——
I am valued and he will always support me.
I fell off the cloud.
Fortunately, fufuchan caught me.
The room I am in is on fire.
The flames are spreading, from sheets to carpets... a sea of flames.
Strangely, when I touched the flame, I didn't get hurt.
Fufuchan was lying in bed with me, holding my hand on his chest.
I actually felt my hands melting.
Hot and enthusiastic.
All I felt in the sea of fire was the piercing cold, with only one hand feeling scorching.
I dreamt that fufuchan bit me.
He probably bit too hard, to the point where there were still scars left after waking up.
Sorry... my memory is getting increasingly confused.
Miss Liz reminds me to take medicine
Am I sick?
I have grown wings.
Fufuchan stood at the top of the clock tower and reached out to me.
How I want to jump into his arms.
But no matter how hard I try to flap my wings, I will always fall in the same place.
Later, Fufuchan took the initiative to jump off the top of the clock tower.
I caught him.
He came to see me.
Curious, but I can't say where it's strange.
I always feel too beautiful.
I told Fufuchan that I felt all this was too beautiful, like a dream.
He actually agreed with me very much and said to me Since it's a dream, seize the time to be happy, because dreams often come to an abrupt end at the peak of happiness
I probably fulfilled his sentence and woke up.
Opening my eyes and staring blankly at the ceiling of the hotel, I realized that today was the second week of my trip.
I may have slept for so long that I forgot how many days I haven't received a call from Fufuchan.
The sunset at the edge of the sky was as bright as a fire, and later it dyed the surrounding clouds red.
So the clouds began to burn.
A scorching flame bloomed at the end of the sky.
The feathers of the birds flying along the way were stained with a spark, and the flames began to spread from its wings until a sharp and crisp sound tore open the red flame.
It is screaming and moaning.
It's falling.
My heart seems to have also sunk, burned to ashes, and drowned in the wind.
The setting sun is like weeping blood.
It stung my eyes.
I don't like that color, it's too bright and flashy.
The sky seemed to split open, and blood was pouring out with a thud.
I only have a bright color left in my eyes.
This color is quite monotonous.
Fufuchan and I became birds and flew in the air.
We stayed on the branches of the iron fir tree and watched the sunrise together.
We fly very high, very high.
High enough to travel with airplanes.
Later, Fufuchan and I fell down.
He pushed me up with force, accelerating his descent.
I saw him fall into the sea like a small stone, with a "popping" sound, even with very small splashes.
Later on, I also began to fall.
The wind around is gentle.
I found myself not falling into the water, but a soft sea of flowers.
Ah... flowers are growing in the cold sea.
FuFuchan is crying.
I have never seen him cry.
He looked very sad, as if drowning in overwhelming sadness.
So I also felt sad.
I asked him why he cried.
He told me that he missed me.
Fufuchan said he's afraid I'll forget him.
But... obviously, we just met
So I comforted him:
No, we will never part, and I will never forget you.
This is the ends of the earth.
The end of the world.
The ethereal aurora is overhead, extending from afar and connecting to an endless distance.
The faint echoes from nowhere echoed through the walls here, lingering for a long time.
That's great, I think it would be a good choice to sleep with Fufuchan here.
I saw Fufuchan lying on the glacier, smiling and closing his eyes, as if he had truly fallen asleep forever.
I also lay down with him, in the ice and snow, doing something small.
A point that is almost invisible in the wind and snow.
Fufuchan and I went to a place with a wide view.
I don't know this place, he brought me here in a daze.
Fufuchan grabbed my hand, laughed, and led me running forward.
He ran very fast, and I felt like I was about to catch up. He stopped, picked me up, weighed me twice, and then continued to run forward.
I don't know how long he ran, but later he fell and fell into the soft mud.
I felt the vibration of his chest in his arms.
He was actually laughing, that kind of wild and hearty laughter.
Although I fell, I couldn't help but laugh along.
Because I really don't remember how long I haven't seen his smile.
Fufuchan and I buried a poor little bird.
What a pity.
Forced to fall from the air.
It will forever sleep in this land.
Fufuchan said that it also needs to be lucky.
He said he envied that bird and was able to be buried by me personally.
I don't understand.
The world has become a mirror, covered in thin and dense cracks.
It seems that you can still hear the subtle cracking sound inside by sticking your ear to it.
One day, the cracks in this mirror extended from the top to the bottom, expanding recklessly.
Broken mirror.
I seem to see the world across from the mirror.
Dark and hazy.
Rich pitch black.
Endless fear.
He kissed me.
It's a very gentle kissing technique.
The world quieted down at that moment.
Fufuchan is smiling at me, kissing my forehead, and embracing me.
I heard his sigh.
I heard him say to me:
Uki, happy birthday
Later, as the sun rose, the withered yellow leaves suddenly turned emerald green, and the purple vines drooped.
The petals caught my eye, I couldn't see him anymore.
He and I fell from a high altitude into a vast sea of flowers.
It's snowing, the snowflakes are pale.
The eyes are the same color as fufuchan's.
Later
I woke up.
In reality, there are no snowflakes or flower beds, only endless darkness in hotel rooms.
From then on, I never dreamed of him again.
I did a very foolish thing.
It was foolish of me to think of using a thermos to pack snow to another place.
Probably... Snow is very similar to him.
So it's still alive
Fufuchan.
I am waiting for you, but I am no longer waiting for you.
I'm waiting for time to come and take me away.
In 108 days, I had countless dreams.
The concept of time has long been blurred, and I can't distinguish between true and false, and my memory has also started to go wrong.
Broken.
confused.
Twisted.
I have seen the most beautiful scenery during my travels, heard the most touching words in the world, and everything is true... it's also fake.
I remember it.
On the 108th day, the trip ended.
Goodbye.
——The 108th Letter to the Forever Sunset
——[End of Full Text]——
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